Don't Live a Lifestyle of Fear

Anything in life that is worth doing involves risk.  It is only in facing the possibility of failure that we see the potential for accomplishments. Those who take the risk tend to have the achievements, those who don't are more likely to not like where they end up. This is a greater indicator of success than intelligence or skill.  Some risk most people are willing to take, like learning to drive, but others can be more daunting.  Obviously I am not suggested people take unreasonable risks,  but that people need to pursue their hopes and dreams if they wish to achieve them.

When I started college I was terrified that I wouldn't be smart enough.  Even though I had done quite well in high school with fairly little effort, somehow this new environment would prove that all of that was a sham.  I had built my identity around my intelligence, I'd never been skilled and wasn't very well liked, so I pinned all of my self worth on my intellect.  One class in, and this fear went away.   If I hadn't gone, I would have always questioned whether I was good enough.  Sadly, as I consider pursuing further education, the same fears arise.  If I give into those fears, I create a state of perpetual self-doubt, it is only through pursuing the things you fear that you can move forward. 

These fears that paralyze us are not real. I don't think anyone else is questioning my intelligence, but  because it matters to me, the fear arises.  We create stories to justify our feelings.  If I fail this time, I will know for the rest of my life that I wasn't good enough.  In reality we are more haunted by the things we were too scared to do.  We can handle a potential failure, it just means we need to try something else.  The key is not to pin your identity or self-worth on whether you succeed or fail.  In either case, you are still the same person afterward.

We live in a culture that is not comfortable with admitting fear, which I think makes it all the harder to deal with.  If I know everyone feels the same fears as me, and has to be brave enough to push through anyway, that encourages me to be willing to try too.   Unfortunately, showing any sign of weakness tends to be looked down upon.  Why do you think that 70-80% of people dislike what they do?  They are afraid to chase their dreams.  What is worse, they feel alone in their fear.   Well, you are not alone, I live with fear every day.  It is the thing that made me a loner growing up.  It made me wait three years to start college.  It made me switch my major from History to Business, for fear of not finding a job.  At many points in my life I have let fear win, and I refused to act, but in doing so I automatically failed.  I have to make an effort to override these tendencies, because they can come so naturally.  Feeling fear is nothing to be ashamed of, because so does everyone else.  Just don't let it ruin your life. 

Courage is not a lack of fear, but the willingness to act anyway.  If I could give you any advice, I'd tell you to be brave in the pursuit of what you want.  Remember that others feel it to, even if they won't admit it.  You will never fail yourself so much as when you don't try.  Don't see yourself through the eyes of fear, that is not who you are, it only a story.  Who you are is much more than this event, and you can accomplish much more than you imagine.

I Am A Reconstructed Mirror

I have not posted on here for quite some time, but I'd like to get back into the habit.  So, I thought what better way than to discuss the name of my blog.  Why a Reconstructed Mirror?

A mirror provides a reflection, a way for us to view ourselves objectively.  Unfortunately, we don't tend to see ourselves objectively, physically or mentally.  We all have our issues, but our society convinces us that we should hide them.  Maybe if we look and act perfect, we almost can be.  The problem is, if we brush our problems under the proverbial carpet, they will only fester.  There are so many expectations we feel compelled to meet and standards we are expected to uphold.  When we look in the mirror, we begin to see what we are trying to be, not what we truly are.  We have convinced ourselves that what we pretend is who we are.  Then we don't understand why we are unhappy.  We are unhappy because we are untrue to ourselves, broken.

The Reconstructed Mirror then, is seeing how we are broken and putting ourselves back together, in a truer more authentic way.  Whether we feel broken and have problems that need resolved or we feel we are living an inauthentic life, we need to put ourselves back together. 

It isn't easy, but finding our true self is far too important.  Do we really want to live our entire lives by someone else's standards?  We should be doing what we love and being with the people that love and respect us.  We should have opinions that are our own, not just a surrogate from someone else.  We need to be proud of who we are and stand for what we believe.  There should be no shame in being ourselves, after all we are all uniquely ourselves. 

When we Reconstruct the Mirror, we see our true selves for the first time, and we stand taller and prouder.  We no longer have to justify our existence or place in this world, it is ours.