I posted this to facebook in May 2014
Do you love your children?
I'm sure you do. Any decent parent would.
That said, may I make a suggestion? Possibly just a reminder.... Love them for who they are.
I think as parents, it can be too easy to get caught up in who you'd like your children to be. But, you must remember, they do not belong to you. They have lives and dreams of their own. We have no right to impose ours on them. We had our chance to chase dreams, now it is theirs. It's okay if they dream differently than you, it doesn't have to be something you are interested in. Be interested because they are. Share in their excitement, with a little guidance to help them along their way. Maybe it won't pan out, but that isn't what matters. What matters is that you have showed your faith in them. More than any dream or specific journey, they need to know that you believe in them. That faith will give them the strength and confidence to achieve more than any dictated path ever would. As a bonus, with you on their side, maybe they will listen when you offer advice that would help them avoid the bigger mistakes. You can still be a voice of reason. If you try to seize control, they will just make bigger mistakes when you aren't looking.
That doesn't mean you aren't a parent. Clearly there are times when a line must be drawn. To never set limitations would be clearly irresponsible. I only ask that you don't tread on their dreams.
If you can be their biggest fan, and believe in all the possibilities of what they can be, they will go higher and achieve more because of that confidence. Go along for the ride, and see how high they can fly. I can't think of anything more exciting.
If you love your children, you have to give them the chance to be. Even if it isn't how you planned it. See the beauty in their dreams.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Remember the Moments...
I posted this on facebook in 2011, just before my second son, Quinn, was born...
Remember the Moments
May 26, 2011 at 1:45am
I remember a moment when I was 10, I was completely content to sit around a campfire, and it could have lasted forever. I remember the moment my wife smiled at me on our first date. I remember the moment I first saw my son's face when he was born. I will remember the moments that my son laughs with an abandon I have long forgotten. I will experience multiple other moments as my children grow, and even later when they have families of their own. Any given moment is so fragmentally brief, sometimes only an instant. Any plans made will quickly approach, be done, and before I know it only be a memory . In a moment I will be gone and a memory to someone else, and then lost in the passage of time. But if I miss these moments, no matter how brief, I have missed all that matters. If I give in to the constant flicker of time, and succumb to planning, worry and regret, I may miss incredible moments. I can never be too busy or preoccupied to appreciate the special moments of life.
Why Do A Blog?
For a while now, I have considered doing a blog. There are many reasons people may do a blog, such as to share an interest, bring attention to an important cause, or just share things about themselves. I can't say that any of these exactly express why I decided to do one. For me, a blog is a way for me to express my ideas, and potentially to receive feedback. I am not looking for converts and I don't expect people to necessarily agree with me. I do hope that the things I share will encourage people to think, and maybe consider why they think what they do about something.
I know I am getting old when I think about how much the world has changed during my life. When I was young there was no widely used internet and no easy way to get one's ideas out to the world. If you wanted to say something, you either wrote a letter or attended some sort of meeting or convention. In high school, I remember the fad was carrying around pagers. It wasn't until about the time that I graduated (97), that the internet really started to become prevalent. I remember around the time of the new millennium, spending a lot of time in chat rooms and IMing people. Looking back, it was all pretty pointless and rarely resulted in any real conversations. After that, I moved to message boards. At least I could pick a topic, read and respond. I could follow a topic and respond to it, much better than chat rooms with wanderlust conversations. Nonetheless, even message boards were difficult to keep up with. An active board would have so many post, many rehashing prior comments. After all, nobody would actually go back and read everything that has been already said. Thus, they also became increasingly tiresome. As of late, my main connection has been facebook. It allowed me to connect with people I haven't seen in years, and also to follow and support topics that interest me. But, even though it allows me to share post and to make short comments, it is not the same as actually putting MY ideas down. A blog allows me to be more thorough and to also have a record of all the things I've written for future reference.
We are more connected than ever. Never before could we express ourselves to an international audience. Anyone in the world can see and comment via our social media outlets. We can follow news from anywhere in the world, and even order exotic items via online shopping. People play video games online and even make friends through these connections. We are in a time when we can be better friends with someone we never met via the internet, than the person in our neighborhood. I'm not in favor of the loss of local community , but I do think there is much to be gained from the online connections that allow us to reach a larger audience. It is only now, with this new medium, that anyone can raise their voice and be heard.
If you know me, you know that I have many thoughts, and I'd like the opportunity to express them. You may not agree with me, but I think you will find them thought provoking. And if so, please share your thoughts with me. I love a good conversation.
I know I am getting old when I think about how much the world has changed during my life. When I was young there was no widely used internet and no easy way to get one's ideas out to the world. If you wanted to say something, you either wrote a letter or attended some sort of meeting or convention. In high school, I remember the fad was carrying around pagers. It wasn't until about the time that I graduated (97), that the internet really started to become prevalent. I remember around the time of the new millennium, spending a lot of time in chat rooms and IMing people. Looking back, it was all pretty pointless and rarely resulted in any real conversations. After that, I moved to message boards. At least I could pick a topic, read and respond. I could follow a topic and respond to it, much better than chat rooms with wanderlust conversations. Nonetheless, even message boards were difficult to keep up with. An active board would have so many post, many rehashing prior comments. After all, nobody would actually go back and read everything that has been already said. Thus, they also became increasingly tiresome. As of late, my main connection has been facebook. It allowed me to connect with people I haven't seen in years, and also to follow and support topics that interest me. But, even though it allows me to share post and to make short comments, it is not the same as actually putting MY ideas down. A blog allows me to be more thorough and to also have a record of all the things I've written for future reference.
We are more connected than ever. Never before could we express ourselves to an international audience. Anyone in the world can see and comment via our social media outlets. We can follow news from anywhere in the world, and even order exotic items via online shopping. People play video games online and even make friends through these connections. We are in a time when we can be better friends with someone we never met via the internet, than the person in our neighborhood. I'm not in favor of the loss of local community , but I do think there is much to be gained from the online connections that allow us to reach a larger audience. It is only now, with this new medium, that anyone can raise their voice and be heard.
If you know me, you know that I have many thoughts, and I'd like the opportunity to express them. You may not agree with me, but I think you will find them thought provoking. And if so, please share your thoughts with me. I love a good conversation.
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